Favorite “The Office” Moments & Quotes

January 8, 2009 at 1:13 am (1)

The Office is pure brilliance.  Here’s why:

-Michael to Jan, (with hand motions) “You complete me.”

-Andy – “At Cornell, I was in an a cappella group called ‘Here Comes Treble’.”

-Dwight kills Angela’s cat Sprinkles…hilarity ensues.

-Michael’s various ring tones

-Prison Mike to Ryan, “You would be the belle of da ball.”

-Holly thinks Kevin is “slow”

-Michael, “I think someone may have given me some weed at an Alicia Keys concert.”

Alright, alright, this isn’t even scratching the surface, but I wanted to get the ball rolling.  This is where you come in.  Now you comment and add your favorites.  Help me out!



  1. Kelly said,

    Prison Mike was one of my favorite episodes!

    For example: Pam Beesly: What was the food like in prison?
    Michael Scott: Gruel sandwiches, gruel omelettes, nothing but gruel. Plus you can eat your own hair.

    Michael Scott: I didn’t hire an ex-convict. Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist.

  2. Jessica said,

    Bears, beets, battlestar galactica.

  3. heidi said,

    stanley (with sufficient eye and lip exaggeration): i’d rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for one of these people.

  4. thekades said,

    “Ryan started the FIRE!”

    and of course the one where Jim sends Dwight faxes from himself, from the future… “Dwight, at eight a.m. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, future Dwight.” Poor Stanley.

  5. Ian said,

    Dwight Schrute: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, “Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me and I’m dead.” Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion, you’re dead.

    Michael: If I’d brought in some burritos or some colored greens.
    Stanley: It’s collard greens.
    Michael: What?
    Stanley: It’s collard greens.
    Michael: That doesn’t really make sense. Because you don’t call them collared people, that’s offensive.

  6. Heather said,

    Dwight Schrute: Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years… which I’m looking forward to. It’s an Amish technique; it’s like slapping someone with silence.
    Dwight Schrute: I was shunned from the age of 4 until my 6th birthday, for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.

    Dwight Schrute: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me… for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

    Michael Scott: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it’s good for me, it’s the perfect way to start the day.

  7. Ian & Heather said,

    Sorry, we found some more hilarious quotes…

    Michael Scott: He leaves work, he’s on his way home. WHAM, his cappa is detated from his head.

    Michael Scott: Abraham Lincoln once said that “If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North,” and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.


    Michael Scott: Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly…she’s not yo’ ho no mo’.

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